Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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