Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
