is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
