Midget sex pt 2 tonight
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
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