I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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