I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
