it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
