I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
