Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Vodka?
Forever.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
