My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
