Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
