Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
youre lurking in front of me
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
