She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
