he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize