She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
