Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
