oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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