I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
