Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize