She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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