Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
