Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
