So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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