If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
