Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
