So drunk its hurt
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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