Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize