She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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