it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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