okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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