Me. At least after what I've been through.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You ate ashes out of my bong
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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