Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
