I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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