haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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