We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
