I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Randomize
