btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
