Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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