i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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