You really coming over, don't trick.
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
