i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
