She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I have already put on my inside pants.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
