I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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