Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
