just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
