Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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