Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
