my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
