didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize