He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
