The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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