I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I can't turn off my feet"
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
