Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize