lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
