I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
