I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You were trust falling into bushes
I know her cup size but not her name....
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
