I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
