would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
