That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
