I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
