this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
My vagina is very pro this idea
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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