I showed him my bush... on skype.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
