She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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