hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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